Sylvia slithers out

 

Well, Sylvia’s gone, and praise be I say. After a shower and shave, she faced the public who so desperately wanted her gone. She received 90.2% of the public vote.

She couldn’t resist one last magpie-esque act of thievery though it seems. Rebecca noticed that one of her make-up brushes had gone and told the other housemates she thought Sylvia might have ‘accidentally’ taken it. Yeah, accidentally, right.

Rebecca was one of several housemates who were open mouthed with shock when they heard the booing as Sylvia walked out of the house. Mind you, Rebecca’s open mouthed most of the time. She doesn’t even close it to eat.

Jen turned to Stuart for comfort and literally cried on his shoulder while Mario hugged a weeping Dale. He unashamedly cried as soon as he heard Davina announce that Sylvia would be evicted which was laughable given that he called Mo all the names under the sun for crying when Dennis spat in his face. Little dweeb.

‘She didn’t deserve that reaction’ said Luke. Oh but she did Luke, and I’m afraid you might get the same you gossipy Hilda Ogden wannabe.

Stuart added, ‘But guys, we’re all gonna get that. I got booed going in!’ Jennifer went over to eviction survivor Mo and gave him a big hug. ‘It’s not nice to lose someone’ she said sadly. Well, stop putting people down then forgetting where you left them then Jen.

But seriously, why is it that they all act like they are in mourning when there’s been an eviction? They’ve known each other less than a month and the way some of them carried on when Dennis was booted out, and then Sylvia, you’d think their dog had just died, or a member of Hanson in Rebecca’s case.

‘It’s obvious how she’s been perceived’ said Luke. Yeah, as a manipulative, back stabbing, lying, nasty tea-leaf. ‘She’s started arguments, she’s been slagging people off…’ just like you then Luke.

‘But at the same time, she’s a nice girl, who’s very loving’ said Jen, which is a bit like saying, ‘Yeah, Hitler was a bit mean but on a night out, he was just the best fun’.

Earlier on, Stu made amends with Mo for his part in the previous night’s row. Sitting in the big ashtray, he said to Mo, ‘Obviously I read the situation completely wrong last night, which was bang out of order. I’m disappointed in meself ‘cos I’m not an argumentative person at all. I overreacted ‘cos I saw a girl crying… I didn’t even go check the picture or anythin’…‘  The two then agreed that they both wished they’d never got involved and left it at that.

That whole fight was nicely engineered by Jen in my opinion, although I suspect her intention initially was just to be the centre of attention all night and have Stu and Dale vying for who was going to defend and comfort her best. However, her stage tears and grieved outbursts got worse as more people gathered.

When Rex first apologised to her, she accepted his apology and was fairly calm, albeit tearful, but as more housemates got involved, she upped the tension in the house. She played on Stu and Dale’s machismo perfectly, as she always does, and appealed to Dennis’s OTT camp temperament. Chuck a few ciders into the mix and hey presto… sit back and watch the show.

Anyway, back to pre-eviction events and the housemates decided to dye bits of their hair pink and wear pink clothes for the eviction. Dale showed his feminine side again as he skilfully applied dye to everyone and styled their hair for them. He was clearly loving playing stylist and enjoyed dressing up just a bit too much…  He came across as being gayer than a tent full of Brownies.

Earlier, in a cosy sofa chat, Dale and Luke had a good bitch about how happy Rachel and Kat are pretending to be, how they never have an opinion and how false they think it is… again. It seems to be Luke’s back-up-bitch when he’s run out of other things to gossip about. And it’s boring me senseless! I’m sooooooooo sick of hearing him say ‘she’s almost obnoxiously, in your face nice’. 

In fact, I’m just sick of hearing Luke’s pre-pubescent voice, period. He has a standard set of phrases and one-liners that prove that once he’s got hold of a joke, it’s a prisoner for life. He changes his character and opinions to suit who he’s with too. When he’s talking to Mario and Lisa, he talks like a fifty year old. When he talks to Mikey, he might be talking to a three year old. When he’s talking to Jen and her group of shallower than a puddle ‘friends’, he becomes as camp as Dennis.

He continued to tell Dale that, ‘Some people aren’t goin’ to last ten weeks. Kat bwoke down after fwee weeks, so there’s no way she’ll last ten!‘ he squealed enthusiastically while Dunno Dale nodded and gazed around vacantly hoping that something shiny might distract him.  

Lisa was busy telling some of the housemates that people used to tell her she should be a model, but a model what, she didn’t elaborate. A model bulldozer maybe…

Back with Dale, he and Jen spent ages hugging and consoling each other over Dennis’s departure. ‘He knew he was goin’. He was like, "I’m goin’,"‘ said Jen to the dimwit, possibly discussing Dennis’s last pee in the house. Dunno Dale nodded and agreed, and then nodded some more. ‘I know like’ was the best he could manage.

Mohamed later comforted Dale when he started crying about Sylvia going, which was quite big of him given the nasty abuse Dale hurled at him the night before when he cried. Darnell took time to have a word with Mo about avoiding nomination in future. He told him to lay off the coffee and to dress well every day. ‘Some of these guys are really judgemental dude, so you gotta know that and know what you gotta do…‘

Late last night, Rebecca decided it was time to show off her ‘best’ assets again in a wet T-shirt swim in the pool. And by ‘best’ assets, I mean ‘only’ assets. In a late night pool frolic with Mario, Mikey and Kat, Rebecca took off her bra, and then assumed porno type poses for the camera as she pulled her wet T-shirt tightly around her and pouted. It was like watching a walrus in a wet tent.

‘Oh my God! Get Luke, get Luke!‘ Kat shouted. Sure enough, Luke appeared and went into his standard ‘Oh Webecca’ routine, which is also wearing thin for me.

‘Oh no, no, no Webecca. Why Webecca. Why? Please keep your top on Bex! Do not take it off!‘ he whined, clearly encouraging her to do just that. Mikey showed his creepy-flesh-crawlie side again when he repeatedly asked Mario to tell him what Bex looked like without her bra on, and asked Rebecca what she’d done with her bra… ewwwww.

Talk continued to be smutty when later, some of them were talking about what body-parts they find attractive. Mikey says he likes ‘ski-slopes noses’ while Luke said he has ‘a thing’ – which I’m beginning to doubt but there we are – that he couldn’t bring himself to tell everyone about.

He repeatedly said he wouldn’t say what it was until Stu and Mikey ‘forced’ it out of him. ‘It’s earlobes’ he said, with mock resignation before adding that he likes ‘Sweet and suckable earlobes’. Luke said he trusted Mikey and Stu not to say anything to anyone else. ‘It’s between us and two million people’ Mikey replied.

Luke then told them it ‘takes a lot’ to find a girl who will let him do it. He said girls get confused when he goes past the other parts and moves to the ear. He then said, ‘it’s the flapping part’ that he likes. That’s what I suspected Luke; that you’d secretly prefer the flapping parts. I think Dale does too…

Stuart was soon telling Dale and Jen about Luke’s love of ear lobes. ‘Why would you want to suck on anyone’s ears?‘ said Jen horrified. Same reason most of your little group are sucking up to parts of your anatomy Jen…

Hearing this conversation, Rebecca decided to find out what his fascination was about so he volunteered to show her.

‘Close your eyes’ Luke said and then began to suck on her earlobe. ‘Did you like that?’ Rebecca asked him once he was finished.

‘It was ok’ he replied. ‘I’ve had better!’ She then decided it would be fun to ‘get’ Luke with the chocolate sauce and squirted it all over his face. ‘Surely this is aggressive behaviour!‘ he shouted. ‘I hate you Webecca!’

‘I hate you!‘ she shouted back, before adding that she’d scare him when he was in bed… presumably by getting into it with him.

This morning began with Luke’s whiny voice repeatedly saying that Darnell had been a ‘twaitor to B Block’ because he slept in the luxury bedroom last night. That kept him amused for about a year as he went around telling everybody… yawn.

Saturday is cleaning day so they’ll probably be polishing and shining by midday… something other than Jen’s rear end that is.

So with three of the original coven now gone, who will take over as chief alpha witch? Will BB put new housemates in? Will Luke’s nads drop and give him a decent voice? Will Kat and Rachel get depressed to cheer Dale and Luke up? Will Rebecca close her mouth today and will Mo dress well and leave the coffee alone? Answers to all these questions and more when I’m back later today.

Before I go, I just want to say thanks to everyone who left messages and comments last night. Dennis’s removal certainly sparked a lot of heated debate, as did Sylvia’s departure. So, how do you think the house will change now two of the biggest characters have gone? Let us know.

Finally, my thanks to everyone who’s said they’ll miss reading my blogs when I finish on Monday. It’s very kind of you all and I’ve been very touched by your lovely comments – thanks again.

See you all later! Lynn

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